Fly Below The Radar (2003) | Road Movies (2001) | All Music Guide 

Mini-Bio:  Simon Petty | Tim Walker | Sid Jordan | Malcolm Cross 

Photos by Heidi Ferguson, except #4 by Tim Walker

Mini-Bio: Sir Sidney (2001)

When and where were you born?
January 13th 1927 at, according to my mum, around 4 or 5 in the morning, although my dad reckons 'it' was just before last orders, in Durham.


Do you have any brothers/sisters and where do you fall in the birth order?
Yes, many, varied, and there's really very little order - ask them. Just ask them.

Who were your favorite bands when you were growing up?
Elastic, Rubber, Earth, Wind, Fire, Brass, Broad, and I'm not sure I ever did.

What was the first concert you went to and/or your favorite concert?
Probably some sort of Christian free jazz/dancing in the lord's street which was probably my favourite also too as well. Or maybe that band that Wendy James was in, which wasn't the reason why, and don't tell anyone, and actually it was someone really cool. Whom I've forgotten. The Beatles. Or someone I made up. The Awesome Quarsome. The Wing-it Quintet. The Jackson Five. I dunno.

Other than being a musician, what jobs have you held?
Held? None. Not even. But I like the "other than..." thing. I could do that, given perseverence, and a little dedication to the cause. These questions are getting pretty good. I've strayed. Wages clerk (pronounced clark for those of you typing) and Accounts Assistant (one job fyi), Data Imputer (haven't we all), menswear clothing assistant (30 pounds a week), fork lift truck driver (), unsuccessful drugs-dealer (unless the FBI are watching, and I'd be severely disappointed if they aren't), plastic fruit and veg painter (this is true - ask them), professional bow-tier / aromatherapy organiser (still true), and future-force-warrior-plane-fighter-pilot (not entirely true). Oh, and I managed David Hasselhoff through the rocky late-eighties/early-nineties stage of his career. As a side-line, you understand.


How and when did you join Minibar?
Bottle of Bushmills, one drunken night.

What has been your greatest Minibar moment to date?
Bottle of Bushmills, two drunken knights.

What bass player has influenced you the most?
Tim McBronski, World-Wide Angling Champion (1924-1992) - he not only played the bass, he positively tickled them out of the water. The man was a true fishing God, and it's not often you can say that. Unfortuneately his last rod was cast in the Great T-angling Dissaster of the aforesaid '92. A sad loss to many a baiting man.

What is your songwriting process?
Bottle of Bushmills,one or two drunken knights, depending on the song. Either that or - I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you. Or I could offer one of the knights a drink for a change, God knows they've earn't it, the smut and guts they have to put up with, and I'm sure they'd run you through. You know what knights are like. I'm using too many hyphens, aren't I. And not just a few brackets, neither. I've strayed.

Is there an artist that you'd like to collaborate with?
David, if by any chance you read my earlier comment upon your career, I hope you understand that this was merely a comment upon your earlier career. I heartily endorse any event and/or product you may have lent your worthy name to past or present, and if I may in any humble way offer, I'm afraid somewhat tenaciously, my limited services to you in what will undoubtedly be your distinguished future, with or without me, then I am, as ever, wholly yours. The only 'rocky' things about you, and I really do mean this, are your rugged good looks, and your sharply-honed personality. And I can say 'that is my pipe' in German, so that could come in handy.

Do you have a favorite track on Road Movies?
I haven't heard it for a while, but I like the sound of, and the song, "Road Movies" itself a lot, and the memory of recording "Visible From Space." Doing the original version of "Holiday" was pretty good fun, too.


What is your favorite song to perform live?
I'm not really a favourites kind of person, for all manner of reasons, but if I had to pick, "So Long Soho." But then "Asking's" been pretty good recently, too. And "Lost in the Details," although that's the one I can pretty much guarantee I'll chuzzle on.

What is in your CD player right now?
Honestly - Sophie Ellis Bextor. Dishonestly - virtually-unknown-underground-bootleg-tracks of everyone cool ever that only I and a few other cool cats know about because I'm so damned cool.

If you could go back to any moment in musical history, when would you choose and why?
I know it's trite and cliched, but I really would like to live out the whole of the sixties, because it was an era whose hope, into striving for freedom, into total lack of clarity, was unmatched by any other modern era, and the music was fucking brilliant. If we could do that again, and learn from it, then we could be alright.

What do you like to read?
Shouldn't it be "What, do you like to read?". I'm getting too serious. It's these questions. Don't get me wrong, I like them, it's just that I want to come across as a thoughtful yet idiotic kind of guy. There's a lot of pressure here. The last thing I want is for the FBI to think I'm pretentious. Anyhow, Hesse, Edgar Cayce, Dickens, Dear Dierdre, and Kipling.

Which fictional character do you most identify with and why?
David Hasselhoff, because he flies in the face of public opinion and steadfastedly insists that he is anything other than fictional. Or, Goldmund from Narcissus and Goldmund by Hermann Hesse, and, again, I could tell you but...you'd have to read it.

What adjective would you use to describe the other Minibar members?
Chuzzly, studly, and unbewarinsk

What do you miss most about England?
Scotch eggs, pork luncheon meat, family get-togethers around scotch eggs and pork luncheon meat.

Is there a household item that you can't live without?
The Pressure Death Iron

You're playing "Rock & Roll Jeopardy" against your bandmates. Who do you think would win?
The person with the most right answers (because that's the rules of the game).